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  • Olga Geidane

For single people... Are you looking for The One?


One of the most commonly asked questions I am asked is: "Why I can't find The Perfect One?" And I truly wish had a directory for those who are looking and those who want to be found... But I don't... at least not yet?!

And usually I ask a question back: “Do you know who you are looking for?” Surprisingly enough many people (if not most) usually answer: "Of course I know! I wish for him / her not to be blah blah blah". That always makes me smile. I just imagine you come into the restaurant, get seated...waiter comes to you and asks what you would like to order. And here you just go: "May I order not the fish, neither beef, also no pork for me and I don't want vegetables. In addition to that I don't like food being hot, as well as can't stand it cold. I definitely don't want any type of sauce on the top of anything you will bring and... yes, no fizzy drinks at all. That gives me an upset tummy."

Do you get the idea?

Why do you know what type of car you would like to buy, what kind of shoes (well, ladies: more or less!) you need and what kind of haircut you need. All that is not life changing and will not hurt you, however you are ready to invest so much time and effort into finding "that one!" - especially when it comes to your home!

Therefore, before complaining of not being able to find anyone please ask yourself first, what are you actually looking for? Don't start here with what you don't like and don't want. Start with what qualities your other half must have. The perfect way of doing it is to write all what comes into your head in three columns: one for "Qualities must have"; the second for "I can live with these negative qualities"; and the last one is for "No-no qualities". You will quickly realize that the last column will be filled-in the quickest and you will probably struggle with the first one for some time.

Why is it important to know what kind of person you are looking for? Because your other half is not just a height and hair colour - that person, like you, has some likes and dislikes, hobbies and friends. Family, past and many other aspects made him or her the way they are and you have no right to change them! Therefore, you better have your "measurement system" ready, meet and compare without that cheeky thought "I will change them!" - and see if you want this ready product or not.

I am sure you were disappointed in life by people who pretended to be better than they are: tidier, funnier, caring. And once you are together for some time you notice they "changed". Was it a true change or were you hoping for them to be different and were not noticing how different they are? That's why you need your "perfect list" - to help you to see and tick all the boxes before making an important decision to be together or not.

Wishing you a happy list creating and meeting someone very special! Just remember to know exactly what you want and believe you will get it!


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E.: olga@newlifekickstart.com

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  • Olga Geidane, international speaker
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